A Letter to Coco.. vol 1

A Letter to Coco.. vol 1

Today, I have been guilty of trying to get a few things (ok, everything on the technical side) right on the blog, a task that clearly, cannot be completed in a single day. We were meant to go out for coffee with some Mums and Babies but Coco fell asleep before the afternoon plans were fully in place and though I was keen to go, there was no way I was waking her up. It was the afternoon spot during which naps can sometimes be elusive, so I was excited when she fell asleep. I thought to myself, baby sleeping, outing not happening for us - great, more time to spend on the blog. Then my conscience tickled.

I realize that was my first tiny inkling of the guilt Mothers talk about. I have only ever left her home for 2 hours (last week), prior to that we have been inseparable for three whole months. And when we're both home, I really do give her all my time. Off course, she gets regular Daddy time too, but I'm that constant face in her face all through the day. Doing something (blogging) that doesn't directly involve her, while she's awake makes me wonder, in double folds, is she ok, is she comfortable playing by herself, should I hold her now etc My mind is constantly ticking even when she looks quiet and content about whether she really is.

It has reminded me, I really don't want to miss a thing with this little one. From time to time I will write more personal mum to daughter (MTD) posts. And, my new resolve - when she's awake, I'll be focusing solely on cuddling her, now while she still lets me.


Dearest Coco,
I remember the first time I realized you are becoming social. We were at GAP and the Sales Assistant smiled at you and said you cute and you smiled right back. She was delighted and did some more smiling which you rewarded with even more smiles! The look on my face must have been priceless. I was excited, proud, beaming like an idiot. And an hour later you did the same at Boots, cue, same reaction from me. I totally understand pushy-pageant mum syndrome now!

Nobody told me in detail about these special moments. That my heart will melt again and again. I suppose it happens at different points and in different ways for every Mum, but that kiddy high must be the same.

I have also been holding you close and enjoying those moments when you're sleeping sweetly in my arms. You're starting to be less fussy and actually happy to put down, not rocked, when you're drowsy and then fall right asleep yourself. I never thought you would this soon, but hey, you do like to surprise me. This means I am holding you less and less. Even when you are awake in my arms, you're looking around, curious about every sound and pattern, no longer just laying quietly. I will definitely miss these moments even more when you become mobile.

I love to see you play independently batting the toys hanging across your bouncer or on the Ikea leka toy bar. Kicking your legs simultaneously and really getting into it with accompanying squeals and dribbling action.

Your Grandma tells me to pray and speak positively about all you will do and be in the future. African parenting though, I initially thought, lol, but there's something to it and I really do it now. Thank God for your Grandparents and GG (Great Grandma) too who calls you Adunni, and is very actively part of the doting Grandparents club.

Your 'Aunties' (my sister/friends included) in Scotland, Lagos, and here in London too, enjoy joining us for or hearing about your adventures and seeing photos. You are soo very loved by many!

You still look mesmerised when I sing to you, or make silly faces, or take you out of the bouncer after you have had enough, or when I simply look right at you! 

I will always be in your corner, fighting for you, squeezing you, disciplining you lovingly (not looking forward to that at all), being your hype man, holding your hand when we cross the road even when you're far too old for it and there will always be time for us to hangout, joke and be silly together too.

What a joy you are my sweet baby, and a joy I pray you'll always be.

Lots of love,
Your Mama
Xxxx

Written late last night

A Letter to Coco.. vol 1