Jumoke's story - Musings on Motherhood

Jumoke's story - Musings on Motherhood

Today's post is features the motherhood experience of another Mum! It's the first of a series called ‘Musings on Motherhood’ where Mums in various parts of the world share their candid experiences on bringing up baby(ies).

Jumoke has two lovely little girls - Fikayo, a four year old and Mojoola, who is a year old and they live in Lagos, Nigeria. 

>> Jumoke's Musings on Motherhood <<

The Road to Motherhood
In the past, I never had an interest in children or having children. When I got married we talked about it and somehow I came round to the idea and fell pregnant with our first. We have two now, and I feel like they are one of, if not, my biggest achievement.

Breastfeeding
I didn’t think I would enjoy this, but I did and missed breastfeeding after I had my first daughter. I stopped at five months with her, and it happened quite naturally. She just turned her head away and showed that she was not as interested as she had been previously. My second daughter I went back to work and this time did not have access to a room to express, so ended up stopping at about four months. With her I feel like we probably could have gone on for much longer as she had a big appetite.

Types of Love
No. Equally - yes. They have distinct personalities, so it's a different kind of love I have for each, but neither is the lesser love. I could not give either of them away. Ever.

Two kids, Two Temperaments  

My older daughter is the sensitive of the two. She loves singing, ballet, entertaining and I could see her being a creative or artistic type. My younger daughter is entertaining purely by her antics. She’s got a big and daring personality - I am my own person, a one man army. They have different temperaments but get along just fine. There may be small minor fights about sharing toys, but nothing major.   

At the moment, Jojo is very into counting and wakes up trying to say her numbers. She is still evolving, but I was surprised when she began to exhibit separation anxiety after our nanny left for the christmas holiday. She’s obviously much more aware of her environment than I thought and to compensate for nanny's absence seems to be building a  career from being my shadow. Phew!

Parenting by temperament
Maybe because Jojo is a second child, I am more confident with leaving her to explore and letting  her run ‘wild’. I am a lot more protective of Fikayo and still shelter her a lot more than I should, perhaps. I think it has a lot to do with their personality though.

Dad treats them the opposite way from me. He 'babies' Jojo and has recently been firmer with Fikayo. He used to spoil  her silly in the past, but has perhaps changed tactic now I think he suspects that I baby her too much. On the whole though, he’s just 'mush' about both of them.

Introducing older one to younger one
We did not specially prepare Fifi for Jojo’s arrival. We mentioned it if it came up in conversation when she was in our company, but didn’t make a big deal of it.  

Montessori  education 
Montessori to me is a whole new way of learning which opens a child to the possibility of  thinking freely. Free from the boundaries set by traditional school. I think Montessori minds  are unique. You should google the number of successful world leaders and business owners  who are Montessori educated. I think you would be convinced too. 

I am a firm believer in the Montessori school principles form the effect I have seen that it has had on Fifi. My Mum is a Teacher, but not on Montessori. She started to look into Montessori and liked what she found out and shared this with me. She said based on her experience, the Montessori principles matched what she had seen. In particular, Fifi because of her sensitive nature, you would think bullying might be an issue for her at a Montessori school, particularly with older kids in their mixed class style of teaching, but we have not had any experience of bullying.    

Montessori education - the effect it has had
Fifi has been going to Montessori school since she was about 18 months and I think that may have inadvertently prepared her for her younger sibling. The mixed class encourages the younger ones to help the older ones, and the younger ones then become more adept to helping their younger ones, for example at home. At the moment Fifi is very into her teeth falling out. She is in a class with older kids who are at that phase and she is very excitedly waiting to be at that point too. The shared experiences of not just children at her age, but also those slightly older than her,  has her an impact (I’ve only seen positively) on her, too.  

After Montessori primary - secondary school options
This is going to be tricky, because Montessori does not prepare children for exams, for example the 10 year old's Common Entrance Examinations, here in Lagos. We would need to introduce the British Curriculum at home or consider boarding school abroad for example, which her Dad is less keen on. 

  

BforB Quick Questions:

Last Kiddy high* moment:
Easy, when Mojola started walking (only about 7 weeks ago). Don’t know if I can still call it a high at this rate, but what a moment that was!

Last three online searchs on motherhood:  
1) When to get worried about a fever 2) Lisping 3) Identifying baby geniuses. Lol! Sorry, but not sorry!

What solution/remedy did you get for one of those:
For the fever,  I was reminded of the temperature maximum limit to warrant going into hospital and I did. Thankfully so!

What is the best thing about parenting in Lagos: 
Honestly, access to a variety of child care, both family and affordable domestic minders. You can safely leave your baby at home and have time to reconnect with yourself and your significant other.

What is the hardest thing about parenting in Lagos: 
Difficulty in buying the most basic quality items for your children. Even a good pair of walking shoes can be a difficult to get hold of. Holidays abroad become a shopping madness because you feel you have to stock up on any and every need, even medicines.

What has surprised you the most, about Motherhood in general: 
How much I would love it. I went from not wanting kids to having two little ones, and today I look back and thank God that He did not listen to my foolish wish.

What a sport Jumoke has been! As well as being wife and Mom to her two kiddos, she holds down a  full time job and runs an innovative and popular blog about Nigerian life. She has so patiently and openly shared with me the details above and helped kick off this series. I hope you enjoyed taking a peek into the inner workings of her mothering life! 


Happy Monday.

x

* kiddy high: when your child does or says something that makes you so happy you think your heart will explode.

Jumoke's story - Musings on Motherhood