What Every New Mum Wants, Guaranteed!

What Every New Mum Wants, Guaranteed!

In the world of babies there are several camps, you may have already noticed. Last month, I watched an advertisement that illustrates this perfectly. In it, they had the cool Dads, pitched against the attachment-parenting mums, working mums, natural birth mums, stay-at-home mums, bottle-feeding mums, LGBT mums, breastfeeding mums, natural/boho mums, yoga/fitness mums. Off course it's hugely exaggerated, but on some days, it can feel like the tension between mothers, also called the 'mummy wars' is very real. There are many different opinions, on how to care for your infant, which in itself is not a bad thing, but when each person thinks their belief is right and best, it can be a bit stifling and at worst you may feel judged.

This post is about a view point that I think all mums regardless of their beliefs, would agree on. That the one, true, best gift for any new mum is... SUPPORT!

People around you that you can go to for advice, or help with childcare or just to offer you a listening ear.

For me, that came in three folds (in no particular order):
1. My Mums staying with me in the first two months after I had Coco
2. MisterB's help
3. Keeping in touch with NCT antenatal class mums group

I cannot emphasise how important each one of these has been to me. I have already written in different posts about how wonderful it was to have my Mums' help during the early days. MisterB would also take Coco and force me to go take a nap during the day. Last thing at night, he would do the same, and bring her to me for feeds and that was a nice opportunity for some 'me' time reading articles online before I eventually drifted to sleep.

If you have loved ones around, friends or family - take up all the help they offer.  Don't be afraid to ask for more too, the worst they'll say is no. But more likely, they will surprise you and accommodate your needs.

In terms of attending antenatal classes, you might feel like you have all the information you need, I certainly thought I knew quite a lot before I attended antenatal classes too, but there is always more you stand to finding out. I found most of the information bridged the gaps in my knowledge. The antenatal class cost is one that I consider an investment, because I got to meet a very awesome group of eleven Mums who all have children Coco's age and are going through what we're going through, at roughly the same time. Sleepless nights, teething, weaning and more. We swap notes, helpful advice and meet up regularly too. I think what makes the group quite special is that we all bring our different experiences, preferences and beliefs and share that in a very open and collaborative manner. There is no pressure (at least not for me), and you come to truly appreciate that all babies are different, which you are constantly told, but there is nothing quite like actually seeing that at work, to really understand it. Each mum probably has their own separate mama circle of friends or family who have children, but we still benefit from our standalone group in a way that is healthy. If you're wondering whether or not to go ahead with attending an antenatal group, my advice would be to do it.

When I look back on the first three months, I know I managed to do it (with some ease) because of the three fold support system I was very lucky to have. When I was pregnant, I completely underestimated how important it would be to have people around. I actually thought hard about whether we really needed a third set of hands to help MisterB and I. The idea of deciding to go it alone, when we had an offer of help, sounds like total madness now, but at the time I genuinely wondered if my Mum wouldn't be bored. I was proved very wrong, that is why I decided to share about this. Family, paid or otherwise - it's a great idea to have help if you can, for the first few weeks.

Here's the advert about the 'mummy wars', make sure to watch it till the end :).

I would love to hear your views on this. Did you have some support in the first few weeks and what difference did it make for you?

Happy New Month.
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What Every New Mum Wants, Guaranteed!