My Husband The First Days After Baby Arrived
"What did you do to make sure your husband didn't feel left out, in the first days after your baby's birth?"
My lovely friend asked me this question the other week, and it's amazing how much I have forgotten, far too soon, of those monumental first days at home with a new baby. I actually had to stop and think hard about it, to be able to answer.
I told her I couldn't remember doing anything special - we came home the day after she was born and I was caught up with looking after baby and myself, in that order, and that dominated my thoughts, feelings and concerns. That may sound harsh, but it's the truth. The more we talked about it though, I realised what the life-saver was - my Mum.
My Mum cooked so much food, much to my husband's delight (and expanding waist line, haha). In addition to this, nearly every time she went out, she came back with something she had especially picked out for him. I can hear her now, she would say, 'Oh I was at the shops and I remember you said you liked fruit yoghurt so I got you a pack'. And it always went like that, she came back once with freshly baked cake from a bakery not too far from the church she had attended, another time she brought packs of moin-moin (baked bean cake) from a friend's house - there was always something. This was on top of making him food to his requests. Fish one day, oxtail the next (an amazingly simple tomato and pepper recipe). At one point I had to ask her if she was a bit confused as to who was recovering from child birth and was nursing & looking after a brand new baby, NOT my husband. I only see now, that indirectly (or maybe she had a strategy), she and him were bonding and looking out for one another. He in turn, had a lot of time for what she had to say, and when I wasn't too keen on her advice, he would stick up for her, much to my annoyance. But I had tunnel vision the whole time, during those first few days. I just struggled to care about anything but my baby.
Don't get me wrong, we had time as a couple when we hung out together watching TV and chatting on the sofa, while the baby was sleeping. We were also constantly communicating, although mostly about the baby. It's funny, now I think about it, I realise that we were quietly engaged and connected in that time because there was 'an air' about that time. I know I was on an adrenaline high, and I suspect he was too. The birth experience was still quite fresh in our minds and even though he didn't say it, I know we both felt a sense of great relief that baby Coco was born and doing just fine too, after what had been quite an anxious few days leading up to her birth. There had been some concerns about if the placenta was still in good condition. The experience brought us even closer together.
The short answer is, I did not do anything special really, but we did have an effortlessly cool and strongly connected vibe about 'us' as a couple in those first few days. And I have to give credit to my Mum for also aiding that, by taking on the cooking and nurturing of us both, in that time too.
I would love to hear about your experience, the first few days after your new baby arrived. Did you do anything special to make sure your husband did not feel left out ? What words would you use to describe the way you both felt toward each other?
Happy Tuesday
x
The First Days After Baby is Born Series
How my husband felt - current post
About my body - coming soon
My Husband The First Days After Baby Arrived
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